like a motherless child

family
it's like the functional unit of the world
it's what many people strive to create; even in the poorest of poor countries, families exist even when they can't afford to
it's what categorizes our relationships; you are either blood or water
I'll take a stab in the dark but I'm guessing most people would family as their number one priority. It's a bond rooted in nature and it tugs at us quite a lot, especially as we age and mature and become independent adults. In fact, family may even be at odds with this process of becoming independent. At point do we separate ourselves from the family unit and seek another? .

Sometimes independence is the line between you and your family.
I believe a family should nurture independence, in both child and parent. We have phrases such as "family values" but what we don't do is reconcile that with "personal values." Growing up means being influenced from your surroundings aside from family, so at one point, we will have developed our own ideas and values that may be exactly in line with our family, or completely different. In the ascent into adulthood, we must decide if being an adult means completely straying from those who raised us and aged with us. For the lucky ones, it's simple matter; being the person you want to be bears no change on the bonds of family. But for some others, often immigrant families with children raised in a different country than the native, being who the person you want to be can mean leaving the the people you used to be with behind. Often the growth of the children's identities, clash with the established identities of the parent(s). Of course, this is highly dependent on cultural views on family as well.

In Hawaiian culture, or so Lilo and Stitch taught us, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." How many truly believe in this? How many practice what you preach? I love that line and can only hope that more people abide by it. Sometimes families break dissolve for what will one day seem like an insignificant reason. How can you deny your own flesh and blood?

At the end of the day, a family is whatever definition comforts you. It is whoever gives you a support structure, a protective arm, a strong bond. I believe we all have the need for parental figures, no matter how independent. We are born with a bond to our parents, especially to our mother, who nurtured us from the womb. So it's always hard to make the decision to cut loose the bonds of a family. It's not an easy decision because in choosing to do so, you may gain what ever it is you sought, but you lose a critical part of you and ignite innate yearnings that you may never lose. How can you justify cutting a lifelong umbilical cord?

I guess the real question is,
what's worth being a motherless child?

The bridge between us

The military, after crossing a bridge to get to their target destination, would burn that same bridge down so that the enemy could not cross and follow their tracks. My source (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/burn+bridges) says it was a strategic maneuver. Is the phrase "burning your bridges" a strategic one too?

The philosophy means that you sever certain relationships and never look back. I wonder how many people live by this philosophy and whether it's all that its cut out to be. Nobody wants the odor of a sour relationship to cling to them. It's like a stigma that bogs down your life and looms over your happy thoughts. Yet, at the same time it adds to your growth....or even descent. That's why people rid themselves of the whole affair altogether. Anything to stop the past from haunting us, from hurting us again. We don't like to get as dirty as we claim we do. If something went horribly wrong in a relationship why would we stay in the mess? So we say goodbye and wash our hands clean.

How do you know which bridges need to be burned? What if you're giving up too early? What if never looking back means moving blindly forward? I feel like you never know for certain if cutting someone off is the right thing to do, especially if the relationship was meaningful once. Maybe we grow weary of trying to resurrect the relationship. Maybe we are too proud to try to resurrect the relationship. And then maybe in the end, it was never going to work out anyway. I wish there was a surefire way of knowing who is worth fighting for, who is worth keeping bonds with.

Some relationships seem impossible to sever. It takes a strong person to burn their bridges and move on with certainty. You would have to be confident that your decision is the most strategic for your happiness, or whoever's happiness you value the most. I believe some bridges are worth a second walk through, no matter how unstable the planks.

Jim Croce sang

"cause tables are meant for turnin'
And people are bound to change
And bridges are meant for burnin'
When the people and memories they join aren't the same"

If bridges were meant for burning then I hope the ashes are salvageable.

take the wheel

So if life was a road, what kind of car would you drive? A red hot sports car? A sensible minivan?
Or would you rather walk? Public transportation maybe?

Either way, something has to get you moving. Something has to drive you, fuel you, push you forward. So what drives us? and where do we find it?

I wonder how far we can get withough drive and motivation. It's certainly possible to live without anything to push us except for maybe the will to at least live. You get up, eat, go to work to make money, have a little rest and recreation, and sleep. Anyone can say they live their lives everyday for the sake of living but if that was the only reason....that's not a life to me.

I don't even think a big overall goal is enough. It isn't enough for you to want to be a surgeon one day or supreme court judge. Although a big dream of some kind is something that needs to be there, I think almost equally important is little inspirations.

They're like sparks. I don't know about everyone else, but I need inspiration all the time. And when I don't have it i feel like nothing matters. I need to see something that gets me excited and thinking. Something more than citrus drinks to recharge me.

Daily inspiration is the only way I will make it through and reach my goals. The hardest part is finding it. Especially if you're stuck in a rut that seems to run too long. You start to doubt your goals and your capabilities. You start to get tired of working for your dream. You start to wonder if its even what you really want. I think this is all fatigue talking. We stop being mindful of what's happening around us and we ignore that there is always something in your world to inspire. Whether it be a stranger's conversation on the train or a grand gesture. Our minds shut down to all this when we feel unvotivated and lackluster.

I'm trying my best not to be blind, not to shut down. I'm sure I'll find something to restore me. I can't lose hope in that.

If we ever get lost or tired on the road...why don't we all look for little inspirations?

the slightest hint of presence

The beatles sang, "all the lonely people, where do they all come from" and I ask the same question.

In high school you have the awkward stage where we get lonely and antisocial. Not everyone but I think may people gets in a stage where we just want to be alone, all by our emo selves. I've alway wondered why we feel the need to isolate ourselves and why some of people are bent on being antisocial because I think, as cliche as it sounds, nobody wants to be lonely.

People need people.

I'm not talking about alone time or "me time" but what I can't understand is how people can say they like being completely by themselves all the time. It seems like an innate urge to be around someone. Even when we want to be alone, I think we need someone near us. In the library when you're immersed in a book, it's just more comfort to have others immersed around you, whether they are strangers who don't make a noise or friends who keep bugging you.

I don't believe in antisocial-ity. I believe in stages, phases, and modes. And I believe we all need to be with people, it makes us one step closer to wholeness, one step closer to sanity, one step closer to happiness. That's why i believe we should all fight apathy, fight the urge to be lonely, fight for right to be with people. Because even if they are only ghosts, the slightest hint of presence is enough.

birth

I always figured blogs were useless and an avenue to waste time in . My first blog, the infamous smells like teen spirit xanga, was just something I could do while cutting third period Music Appreciation. I spent most of my time adding html this and fancy skins to my xanga page. The rest of the time was spent giving e props instead of focusing of the main goal of a blog.....to write.

With the birth of this blog (which I am sure will soon be abandoned with time unfortunately) I vow to simply write. Write about anything that's worth writing about. So I won't be writing about those SATs that were lyk omfg soooo harrd!!

Maybe I'll write about chili fries and the Philosophy section of Barnes and Noble instead.